Hetalia Poems and One-Shots
by An Arm and a Leg
Summary: As the title says. Currently taking suggestions/requests!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N(Angie): Hey, guys! This is just something random we came up with. It'll most likely need reviews to continue, though.**

 **Mati: Basically, you guys can send in requests/ideas, and we'll try to write a poem or a one-shot based on it.**

 **Piper: It can be anything, but we don't really recommend ships. Especially if we don't know the ship very well.**

 **Angie: If we can't write a poem or a one-shot, we're so sorry...you can try to come up with another idea...**

 **Mati: For now, enjoy this poem of feels! The PoV is Prussia, and 1947 is the year that...well, I think you can guess what happened.**

 **DISCLAIMER: We do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers.**

* * *

1947

When

It happened

The unthinkable

It hurt

Him

Badly

Like a thousand knives

Slicing into skin

And

He writhed

Thinking

(Knowing)

It was the end

Of him

Of his life

And

It was regrettable

("We regret to inform you,"

They later said)

That

He did not

Get

To live longer

To see the future

But

He knew

That

At least

His brother

Would live on

Even though

He knew

His brother

Would live alone

With the burden

With the blame

Of the war

The terrible war

And, in a way

He had the blame as well

And if it meant that he died

And his brother survived

He was fine with that...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N(Angie): Thanks to our dear friend Amy's request-**

 **Mati: Love you, too, dear. XD**

 **Angie: We've been able to continue this. Again, angsty.**

 **Piper: This is about the Berlin Wall, from both Germany and Prussia's points of view. It's pretty obvious who's who. Enjoy.**

 **Mati: Ah, also, we forgot to put the title on the last one. Sorry about that.**

 **Angie: We're also sorry if you didn't like the last one. It's not our best work. And it was meant to be choppy. Sorry. BTW, thanks to our German friend for helping with a part we had trouble with-**

 **Mati: -And with fixing our German, which OUR BLOODY COMPUTER WOULDN'T LET US FIX.**

 **Piper: *annoyed* Done now? Good!** **Now** **, enjoy!**

* * *

Behind the Wall

His brother was gone

( _His baby brother was gone)_

Behind the wall

 _(Behind that damned wall)_

155 kilometres long

 _(Much too long for his liking)_

Made of concrete and barbed wire

 _(Full of pain and death)_

The Wall of Shame

 _(The Iron Curtain)_

Keeping him away

 _(Keeping him locked inside)_

From his brother; his other half

 _("Built to keep Western fascists away")_

He the West, his brother the East

 _(Sure, it seemed like a good idea at first, but…)_

It couldn't last forever, could it?

 _(To make it worse, Russia was getting bolder)_

This torture had to end eventually

 _(This madness had to end eventually)_

He'd get back to his brother

 _(He see his Brüderlein again)_

Even if

 _(It took years…)_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Right. So, I got this lovely request:**

 **pre' chill kid** **:** **mæk a poem about beer or tea and how happy it makes countries feel-**

 **Well, that wasn't very specific, so I changed it to be about their most popular drink. Hope that's all right. This will have the Axis and Allies, with a 'guest'. Enjoy.**

* * *

The authoress walked into the white room, laptop under her arm, and faced the countries sitting at the round table inside. "Right. So, you may be wondering why I called you here." She sat down at a vacant chair and opened up her laptop, adjusting her glasses. "Basically, I got a weird request, and I need this scenario to write it." Before any of the countries could protest, she began writing, forcing them to do her will.

" _Tea," Said England, "Is fine,"_

" _Its taste is truly sublime._

 _It's rather relaxing,_

 _And if people are taxing,_

 _You can have tea, relax, and recline."_

"A limerick?" An embarrassed and annoyed England asked. "Really? And those rhymes are horrendous."

"So sue me," the authoress said, shrugging. "I'm just filling a request, and I never said I liked to rhyme. Next!"

" _I, myself, enjoy_

 _Drinking sake while also_

 _Watching the sun set…"_

"...That was not too bad," Japan quietly admitted.

The authoress grinned. "Haikus are one of my good points."

 _Well, my dear England_

 _I think your tastes are..._ _épouvantable_

 _Non, wine is far better and far more_

 _Enjoyable._

There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at France's poem. "Next!" The authoress finally announced.

"Can I go, eh…?" Someone asked. Everyone ogled at him. "Who's that?" England whispered.

"Matthew...you're not part of the-" The authoress cut off, opening a new tab on her laptop and typing something. After a second, she spoke up. "Never mind. Continue."

"Thank you…"

 _Ironically, the Americano is one of my most popular drinks._

 _We drink 8.64 times more than any other city in the world; although it links_

 _Us to my more boisterous and annoying brother ("Hey!" America protested)_

 _We'd really rather drink no other._

"That ending…" The authoress grimaced. "Ah, well. Moving on."

" _My turn! I'm the hero!" He said._

" _I love to drink Coke! It's filled with sugar, but it's good to drink!_

 _I also like hamburgers!"_

"...Alfred…" The authoress took off her glasses and rubbed her forehead. "Alfred, that didn't even rhyme…"

"It doesn't need to rhyme!"

"But…" The authoress groaned. "You know what? Forget it. Germany?"

"Ms. Morgan…" Germany looked embarrassed. "Must I? I'm not very good at rhyming...und I'm not a poet…"

"It'll be fine."

" _Beer is the drink ve are most known for_

 _But really, I enjoy kaffee (coffee)._

 _My people drink 150 litres a year._

 _("That's good enough," Said the authoress. "Want some toffee?")_

"Not bad…" Germany said, looking at his poem. "Zhe last line is...interesting."

"I'll go next, aru!" China exclaimed, standing up.

The authoress waved at him. "Go ahead.

" _Now me, aru!" China said, sitting back down._

" _My people drink quite a bit of tea!_

 _Probably because of England, aru._

 _He influenced quite a lot." A small frown._

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Moving on!"

" _VODKAAAAA!"_

"...Whatever. Moving on!"

" _Pasta's my favourite, ve!_

 _My people make it perfect! You can't find any better!_

 _Oh, and I also like wine!"_

"Guys!" The authoress' eye twitched. "Poems! At least make it look like a poem!"

" _Of course, since I'm like West, I love beer!"_

"Whoa, whoa, wait." The authoress interrupted, squinting at Prussia. "Gil, this is supposed to be the Axis and Allies. You're neither."

"Come on! Every poem needs the awesome me!"

The authoress threw her hands up. "I give up."

"Kesesesese! Like I was saying,"

" _Of course, since I'm like West, I love beer!_

 _Beer is really the best!_

 _It's almost as awesome as me!"_

"...That's all, right?" The authoress asked after a pause. The countries nodded and she sighed. "Oh, thank god. You can all go." As the countries filed out of the room, she groaned and put her head on her keyboard. "Now to post this…"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: OKAY! Done!**

 **Mati: Took a while to do-**

 **Piper: We had writer's block. Seriously, this was hard to do.**

 **Mati: But with help from a friend, we did it!**

 **Angie: This was a request from Calistrophia, who wanted "** **A short humor about Canada meeting two nations while he was New France. Boss Spain and Chibimano." Sorry if it's not humorous. Hope you still enjoy!**

* * *

 **Of Pancakes and Making Friends**

Matthew looked up. "Huh?"

France smiled at his young charge. "Spain is coming over, and he's bringing over his charge, Romano. Maybe you can become friends with him? As I hear it, he doesn't have many friends. It'd be good for both of you."

Matthew gave a small nod, thinking. Romano… he hadn't heard much about the small colony. Maybe he was shy, like Matthew? He hoped they would get along… it would be nice to have a friend…

* * *

"CHIGII! GET OFF ME, IDIOT SPAIN!"

"Aw~ Isn't my Lovi so cute?~"

The formidable Spanish Empire cuddled his squirming red charge, cooing as the colony squirmed and cursed him out. Matthew stared at them from behind France' legs, eyes wide. _This_ was Romano?! Matthew could understand why not many people tried to be his friend. He was scary…

France gave a small laugh. "So this is Romano, _mon ami_? He's very… outgoing."

"He is~ He's my _poco de tomate adorable_!" With a laugh, Spain set Romano (who was still red) down. "I haven't talked to you in a while, _amigo_! Why don't we catch up and let Lovi ("Don't call me Lovi, dammit!") and-Matthew, right?-play?"

If possible, Matthew's eyes widened even more. He was being left alone with Romano?! He stammered and opened his mouth to speak, but it was too late; Spain and France had left, leaving him alone with the other.

There was a small awkward silence as they looked at each other. Finally, Romano huffed and spoke up. "Well? Who the hell are you?"

Matthew was too stunned to speak.

"What, can't you talk? I don't bite, y'know. Much." When Matthew didn't respond, he sighed and looked away, suddenly looking a bit… vulnerable. "I've scared you, haven't I? Great."

All of a sudden, Matthew felt bad for judging Romano. He finally got the courage to speak. "N-no, you didn't scare me…"

Romano raised an eyebrow, something (relief?) flashing through his eyes. "So you do speak."

"S-sorry… I-I'm just shy… I'm Canada… but you can call me Matthew."

Romano hmmphed. "Romano. You can call me Lovino. Not Lovi, like the tomato bastard. _Lovino_."

Matthew laughed, despite Romano's cursing. "Okay… Lovino." He got up and began heading to the kitchen, an idea forming in his head. "Have you ever tried pancakes…?"

* * *

"Don't spill the flour!"

"I'm not trying to!"

"Where's the milk?"

"It's over there, idiot!"

"Don't curse, Lovino…"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry."

"Is that enough baking powder?"

"Looks like it…"

"...Lovino, I accidentally dropped the egg."

A sigh. "I'll get another one."

"That's all, right?"

"Yeah. Get the pan, will you?"

"It's burning!"

"Shit! Get some water!"

"...These aren't too bad…"

"...They actually look edible…"

"Wanna try…? Wait!"

"Hm?"

"Here. Maple syrup. They don't taste as good without syrup."

"...Not bad…"

"...Lovino… Friends?"

"...Oh, what the hell. Why not. Friends."

* * *

France and Spain found them later, covered in flour and eating pancakes they had made from scratch.

"Hello, Papa!" A beaming Matthew told France, holding up a pancake. "We made pancakes!"

"I can see," France told him with a smile. It became a wry smile as he took in the kitchen. "And you made a mess in the process, it seems."

Matthew looked down. "I'm sorry, Papa… We'll clean it up…"

France shook his head. " _Non_ , I'll do it. It's okay. Romano has to go, anyways."

Romano looked slightly disappointed. "Now?"

"I'm afraid so, Lovi." Spain picked him up (which was received by some protesting) and headed towards the door. "It was nice talking to you! Want us to visit again soon?"

France looked at Matthew, an odd twinkle in his eye. "What do you think?" After a second, Matthew nodded. France give him a smile and turned back to Spain. "Of course! You and Lovino are always welcome!"

Matthew couldn't wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So. This is a request from a person on Google Plus, based on a bunch of headcanons. It's an AU where the countries were humans before they died, and is full of sad deaths. Brace yourself for a lot of feels and keep a box of tissues handy. Thank you to my friend Amy for helping me write this! As thanks, she got a cameo. :3**

 **Part one is about England and America's deaths. The ship in here is USUK, so if you don't like that, I'm sorry. Alfred is America, and Arthur is England. The headcanons these are based on are here: plus . google u /0 /+KawaiiPikabronyAssasinatrGamr /posts /FBkZPzdSuB9 . Remove the spaces, of course.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _England: Drug addict, died of overdose of hallucinogenic drugs (Drug of choice: LSD)._

 _America: Regular teenager. Died of anorexia nervosa._

* * *

Arthur only stopped when Alfred asked him to. He'd had no reason to before, and when Alfred had come into his life, he began to not need it anymore. Flying Mint Bunny and the others disappeared, replaced by his boyfriend (he never mentioned Flying Mint Bunny to him).

And, for the longest time, they were both happy.

* * *

"Did you hear?"

Arthur keeps his eyes on his laptop, frantically writing up his paper for his Psychology class. "What?"

"Alfred Jones passed out in Professor Ganzer's advanced chemistry class."

His head snaps up. " _What?"_

"He just collapsed. They put him in the nurse's office. I hear that they're considering taking him to the hospital." His fellow tutor shakes her head and adjusts her red-rimmed glasses. "The poor kid…"

Arthur stands up abruptly. His laptop nearly drops to the floor, but he catches it in time and sets it on the table. As soon as he's sure it won't fall, he heads to the door, trying to suppress the feeling of panic inside of him. "Excuse me, Catherine..."

* * *

Alfred opens his eyes and looks up at his boyfriend with a weak smile. "Hey, Artie." He sounds so different, so much frailer. With a start, Arthur registers how pale and thin the other looks. How could he have missed this?

"What happened? What's wrong?" He asks, panic clear in his voice.

Alfred tries to wave off Arthur's concern. "It's nothing. Just tired. I'm fine now."

Arthur isn't convinced. Who would be? "You look terrible." He takes Alfred's hand and gently kisses the back of it. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"I…" The other turns away. "I'm sorry…"

"What?"

Silence. After a while, Arthur sighs and leans down, kissing his boyfriend on the cheek. "The next period starts in a few minutes, so I have to go. Please go home and rest, love. I'll try to visit you later." Thank god, Alfred's mother doesn't know about their relationship. All she knows is that they are friends. Both Arthur and Alfred are determined to keep it that way.

A small nod, and he's off to be stuck in a class of people who probably don't even pay attention to the class instead of staying and taking care of the only person he truly cares about.

The thought stings.

* * *

Anorexia. Arthur knew he had it before, but he thought Alfred had fully recovered, that he wouldn't get it again.

Clearly, he was wrong.

Now, he paces in the waiting room of the hospital, anxiously waiting for news on his boyfriend's condition. Alfred's mother was sitting near him, faces as pale as his.

A nurse steps into the waiting room. "Mrs. Jones?" She stood up and made her way to the nurse. Arthur follows.

She looks at him. "You are?"

"I'm Arthur Kirkland, his b-his friend, tutor…" She nods, accepting the answer, and looks at the two of them, face grim.

"I'm sorry...his condition is severe. He must have been hiding this for a while…"

Alfred's mother speaks up, her voice cracking slightly. "Is it...is it fatal?"

"It can be."

It hits Arthur like a bag of bricks, and he feels any remaining blood draining from his face. _His Alfred might die._

"Is there anything we can do?"

"No...I'm sorry…"

 _His Alfred might die, and there was nothing he can do about it…_

* * *

"Hey...don't cry…"

A gentle hand touches his cheek, brushes away the stray tear, and Alfred gives a small, sad smile. "C'mon...I'm not worth crying over…" Arthur looks at him and scowls.

"How can you say that?! You're the only thing I've got left in this world I care about." His voice cracks, but he continues to talk. "My Dad's an asshole and my Mum's dead. Two of my brothers died in Vietnam, one's MIA and the other ran away." He's crying now, nearly sobbing, and he doesn't try to hide it. Alfred's hand grabs his.

"We both have kinda screwed up families, don't we? I haven't seen my Dad since Mom left, not that he was the best father figure. I haven't seen Matthew since, either." He sighs and tries to hold back tears. "I hope Mattie's alright."

There's a pause before Arthur speaks up again, a whisper. "Please don't die on me…"

A small laugh. "I don't think I can control that anymore...but I'll try."

"I…" He chokes back tears. "I love you, Alfred."

Alfred looks surprised before giving a sweet, if slightly sad, smile. "I love you too, you goof."

They share a sweet kiss before Arthur has to leave. The last thing he sees before closing the door is Alfred looking at him, eyes filled with love and a soft smile playing across his lips.

He's dead by morning.

* * *

Alfred's mother finds out about the relationship her late son and his tutor shared, and on the day of the funeral, Arthur is at home, forbidden to see the boy he loved.

He turns back to the drug escape he used before Alfred. The fairies and ghosts return, and he gladly accepts them. Anything to escape reality, the living hell he now finds himself in without his Alfred.

And then, with the fairies and ghosts, Alfred appears. He's smiling, laughing, talking animatedly to Arthur, and it's a bittersweet feeling, seeing Alfred again, but only as a hallucination, as a fake. The more he sees him, of course, the worse it is. He gets pulled into a dark pit full of emptiness and grief, and this not-Alfred is keeping him sane, dragging him in further.

He knows when he accidentally overdoses, but embraces it. Even if it's agonising and slow, he knows that Alfred will be at the end of it all. The real Alfred, his Alfred, not the not-Alfred that's been haunting him. His Alfred will be there.

And he is.

* * *

 **A/N: Here's the list of the characters I might do next. Please review and tell me which one I should do next! :3 Unless you don't want to, of course.**

 **Germany/Prussia/Italy (This one will most likely have GerIta)**

 **China (? Maybe...)**

 **Canada**

 **Russia (Ukraine will probably be mentioned here)**

 **France**

 **Sealand (His will not follow the headcanon.)**

 **Hungary**

 **Denmark**

 **Turkey (Will most likely be short)**

 **Spain (Maybe. I might go totally off of the headcanons and add people like a reincarnated France, Prussia, and Romano if I write this.)**

 **Sweden**

 **Norway**

 **Poland**

 **Latvia**

 **Hong Kong**

 **Greece**

 **Lithuania**

 **That's all for now! Reviews are loved and welcomed! See you next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So...I got a request to do Canada next, so here you are! It's shorter than the last one, due to the fact that it's only one death. :P**

 **BTW, England and America's was set in 1969; this one is in 1956. England was 23, America was 19, and Canada is 5 in this one. This one is different from the headcanon. Enjoy~**

* * *

 _Canada: Victim of child neglect. Froze to death in the winter._

* * *

" _I haven't seen my Dad since Mom left, not that he was the best father figure. I haven't seen Matthew since, either."_

" _I hope Mattie's alright..."_

* * *

Nobody was home. Nobody had been home for days. Matthew suspected that his father had forgotten him and left. Or simply forgotten him.

He shivered and wrapped his old and tattered blanket around him, squeezing a well-loved stuffed bear. There was no heating, and Matthew didn't know how to start a fire in the fireplace. All he could do was wait it out until someone like the milkman found him…

"We'll be all right, won't we, Kuma?" He whispered to his stuffed animal, trying to reassure himself. Kumajiro and the blanket currently wrapped around him were the only things he had left from his time with his half brother before his father took him and left. He still remembered happily playing with Alfred. For them, it didn't matter that they were only half brothers, that their father had cheated on Alfred's mother. They loved each other dearly. He hoped Alfred was okay…

A window nearby rattled, and he turned to it, startled. With a start, he realised that it was snowing outside. In fact, it seemed like a blizzard was about to begin soon.

That wasn't good at all. He could handle just a cold night, but in a blizzard? There was no way he'd survive…

Without knowing it, he'd begun crying, both in fear and sadness. Fear that he was going to die out here alone, and sadness that he'd never get to see Alfred again.

It got colder. And colder. And colder. The world outside became enveloped with white.

Matthew began to think of his father to pass the time. He'd heard that before he and Alfred were born, his father had been a happy man, bright and energetic. It had all changed when he was sent to Vietnam, just before they were born. All he knew was that when he first met his father, he was a bitter and dark man. He drank constantly, and always woke up screaming in the night, visions of the war still in his head.

When they left, the dreams and the drinking got worse. On his worse days, Matthew would get beaten. Very occasionally, though, he had good days, where he looked almost happy and gave Matthew hugs.

Those were the days Matthew loved the most.

Colder. Colder.

The blanket wasn't enough anymore. In fact, gathering all of the blankets in the house, which frankly wasn't much, still didn't help.

He was so cold now...and so sleepy…

Maybe it would be fine if he just closed his eyes for a bit...

* * *

 **A/N: Please review with the next one I should do!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, I'm back! :D Sorry it took so long to finish this. In my defence, it's 15 pages long. :P Anyways. This is set in Finland, nowhere in particular, no particular year. Finland (Tino), Sweden (Berwald), Norway (Lukas), and Denmark (Mathias) are all 16. Iceland (Emil) is around 10. The ships are Sufin and Dennor. I apologise if you don't like those ships. Enjoy!**

 **Oh, also...the headcanons I was using have disappeared. I think that I'm going to do Germany/Italy/Prussia, and then stop and go back to regular requests. Sorry. Also...Rosemary, sorry but I don't think I can do that. :P**

 **Oh, and Ludwig/Germany is in here.**

 **WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND HOMOPHOBIA.**

 **Iceland: Abandoned child. Burned down his house.**

 **Denmark: Alcoholic/Abusive parents. DWI crash after Norway's death.**

 **Norway: Bipolar disorder. Committed suicide.**

 **Sweden: Drowned himself after Finland's death.**

 **Finland: Car accident.**

* * *

Emil shivered and wrapped the blanket tighter around him. Yet again, he'd been left alone. He supposed he didn't mind that much; being abandoned meant nobody to beat him. Still.

He knew that there would be a storm later; people had been talking about it. It certainly explained why he had been left here. Typical. This probably benefitted his 'parents', anyways. Once the storm cleared, they wouldn't have to worry about their accidental brat. He could try to escape by leaving the house, but that was risky. The storm was due to hit at any moment, and he really didn't want to be outside when it arrived. It'd definitely kill him. He had a better chance of survival if he stayed inside the house.

The wind began to pick up, and he sorely regretted living in Iceland. What he wouldn't give to live farther south right now. Germany was supposed to be nice this time of year…

The winds rattled the windowpanes, howling. The temperature dropped until Emil was shivering. At this rate, he'd freeze to death. So much for his 'better chance of survival'.

 _I could always try to start a fire…_

But no. That was madness. He'd never lit a fire before. What if he burned down the house?

 _Better than not doing a thing and freezing to death,_ a voice in his head whispered.

Emil went to look for things to burn.

The first to go was the papers his 'father' had left on his desk. The next was all of his 'mother's clothes. It gave him a sense of satisfaction. No doubt he'd get beaten when they found out, but at least he'd be alive. For now, he could relish in their heat.

He set all the things in a rough pile and started searching for something to light it all up with. He finally found a box of matches in the kitchen, tucked neatly away into a cabinet. It was surprising that it was tucked neatly away, actually. Nearly everything in the house was messy; the result of living with parents who drank more than they did anything else.

It took him a few times to light a match, but soon he had one. As quickly as he could without accidentally blowing it out, he placed the burning match on the pile and held his breath.

There was a small flicker of light before most of the papers in the pile ignited. Soon, Emil had a decent fire going.

He gave a sigh of relief. Looks like he might last a bit longer.

 _Maybe I should sleep for a bit..._

Emil lay on the floor, closed his eyes, and let sleep take him.

When he woke up, the world was burning.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

 _Emil floated in space and looked at the burned husk of what he used to live in with a sort of detachedness. Slightly understandable, now that he was dead._

 _For whatever reason (he couldn't find his way out, the fire had surrounded him), he hadn't made it out. Now he was nothing, merely a ghost._

 _This kinda sucked._

 _With a small ghostly sigh, he contemplated what to do next. He would have thought that he would have left for Heaven or Hell or wherever by now. Maybe there was something keeping him there?_

 _Emil concentrated, trying to feel if there was some kind of ghostly pull or something. He felt a tug in his gut. Something was trying to pull him to it._

 _Whatever. He had all the time in the world._

 _Emil, once a boy, now a ghost, followed his gut and started walking._

 _Or rather, floating. Ghosts moved oddly._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Tino Väinämöinen shivered as a cold breeze blew past him. For a second, he thought he heard a little boy's voice whispering something unintelligible in his ear. He turned around in a circle, trying to locate the source, but there was nobody. After a second, he shook his head, brushing off the voice as a figment of his imagination, and turned back to the stream of people exiting the high school.

Finally, he saw the person he was looking for. With a big smile, he began jumping up and down and waving at the figure.

"Ber! Berrrr! Over here!" Berwald Oxenstierna, his best friend and secret crush of ten years, spotted him and gave a small wave, pushing through the stream of people to get to Tino.

Tino grinned up at Berwald. "I missed you!"

Berwald raised an eyebrow. "We 'nly have two peri'ds apart."

A pout. "But that's too longggg…"

Berwald's lips twitched a bit, his version of a smile. "B'rtram's okay. Bit scary. Liu's nice. I like h'r."

Tino laughed and pushed his friend, who didn't move. "You think Bertram's scary? Have you seen yourself?"

"In th' mirror, ya. Not that bad. He's worse."

The smaller of the two laughed and they both began the walk home. "My classes are okay. Wish they were better. I hate PE, though. It's just-ugh! I don't like running!" He waved his arms around for emphasis.

"Well, we 'nly have this year left 'till we leave."

"That's true! Hey, are you going to go to upper secondary or vocational?"

"V'cation'l, I think."

"Ah...I think I might be going to upper secondary, with psychology and all…"

There was a pause. "...You'll still stay in touch with me when that happens, right...?" Tino asked tentatively.

Berwald raised an eyebrow and gave a slight nod. "Y're my b'st friend, aren't ya?"

That was enough to make Tino beam brightly and hug his friend. Berwald hugged him back, used to his behaviour. "Joo! Of course, it'll be easier since you're just next door! I can just come over whenever! Ooh, but what if you have work? Should we make a schedule or-"

"Th' school year j'st started, Tino." He was laughing, Tino just knew it.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

"Eheheh...sorry, got carried away."

Tino grinned brightly, making Berwald's heart speed up. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him so badly.

Of course, he couldn't. He just couldn't risk it. He didn't even know if Tino was gay, much less if he liked him back. It just wasn't worth the risk.

"Ber? You still there?"

A hand jerked up and down, waving, and Berwald noticed with a start that Tino was waving his arm to get his friend's attention, jumping in order to reach his face.

"Berrr? Hello?"

He gave a small grunt of confirmation, and Tino gave a small sigh of relief. "Oh, good. You spaced out for a second there. I was worried for a second." He gave his friend a concerned look. "You all right?"

"Yah. J'st tired."

That got him a laugh. "Isn't everybody? School can be so horrible." A sigh. "Ah, I'm exhausted, too...since Mom's not home yet, I'm allowed to stay with you, right?"

"Mm."

The rest of the way was spent in comfortable silence.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

 _Emil sighed as he watched the two boys sit on a couch and do homework. Being a ghost was boring. Maybe he could go somewhere else…?_

 _The tug in his gut confirmed it, and with yet another sigh, he followed his gut._

 _Hopefully, this would be more interesting._

 _It better be, or Emil was going to go mad._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Lukas was never sure of much; for him, the truth (much like his emotions) was always changing, always muddled. However, there was one thing that had always been clear: he was in love with Mathias Køhler. Sure, he was annoying, loud, and oh-so-childish, but he was also bright and caring. No matter what phase Lukas was in, manic or depressive, Mathias always managed to be the brightest part of his day.

Right now, he was walking home with the cheerful Dane. Mathias was talking a mile a minute, but Lukas didn't mind much. In a way, he found Mathias' voice...soothing.

Which was amusing, since the Dane had one of the most annoying voices that he could think of.

"Hey, Lukas?" Mathias' voice cut off Lukas' train of thought. "You okay?"

"Hm?" The Norwegian snapped out of it and nodded to his friend, managing a small smile. "I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"Oh, okay!" Mathias gave Lukas a bear hug. "You worried me for a second there." Lukas shoved him off with a small grumbled, "Annoying."

"Hey!" Mathias pouted, but quickly replaced it with a grin as something occurred to him. "Oh, what are you doing for winter break?"

A shrug. "Haven't been thinking about it. Most likely relaxing. Why?"

"Uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck and gave a sheepish grin. "I think I'm going to have to stay with you."

Mathias didn't have to say any more. Lukas already knew about his alcoholic and abusive parents. Slowly, he gave a nod. "I think my parents will say yes."

The taller of the two all but jumped Lukas, who pushed him off yet again. "Thank youuuu~"

A sigh. "Idiot. You didn't have to worry. You're my friend, aren't you…?" Lukas began walking back home once more. "C'mon. I'm hungry. Let's go home and get some food."

The grinning Dane followed close behind.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

It was the last day of winter break, and Berwald and Tino were relaxing by the lake. Tino was chattering on happily about how he was going to get a puppy soon ("I think I'll call her something cool! Like...Go For It! Bomber!"). Berwald was simply happy listening. Even if Tino was coming up with ridiculous names. _Sardine-Panic. Honestly._

The urge to kiss Tino had begun to be stronger than ever, and Berwald had no idea why. It wasn't as if anything had changed. Still…

He could theoretically kiss Tino right now. He could. But...what would his reaction be? Would he reject him? Stop talking to him?

His instincts decided for him before he could. "C'n I kiss ya?"

Tino did a double-take. "W-what did you say?"

 _Skit._ Berwald looked away, immediately regretting speaking. "Ah, nothin'..."

"Ber...did you just ask what I think you asked…?"

 _Skit, skit, skit._ "Uh, I…"

"Berwald. Look at me." Tino's voice sounded a bit odd. With an internal cringe, Berwald turned to look at him.

"Did you...did you mean what you said…?"

He couldn't lie. Not to Tino. "Mm…" _Herregud...he hates me now..._

He caught a glimpse of a smile before Tino suddenly threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Everything ground to a halt.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Tino relaxed a bit when Berwald tentatively began to kiss back. Finally, after years of crushing on Ber, dreaming of this moment, it had happened, and it was just as amazing as he had imagined.

They were both smiling when they separated. Berwald rested his forehead on Tino's and gave a shaky sigh. "Y'...Y' don't know how long I've wanted t'do that…"

Tino gave an equally shaky laugh. "I can imagine...I've wanted to kiss you for a long time as well." _Now, tell him now!_ His shoulder demon whispered. "B-ber...I, uh...minä rakastan sinua!" The words came out of him in a rush, and he felt his face immediately erupt into flames. _This was a bad idea. Why did I listen to my inner voice? Stupid shoulder demon!_

There was a small awkward pause, then Berwald made a weird noise as if clearing his throat. He tried to say something, but failed a few times before finally getting it out. "J-jag älskar dig också."

Neither of them were ever as happy as then.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

 _Emil was ready to screech like a pterodactyl by now. Why in the world was he being forced to watch these, these...these weird teenagers?! What was the point in watching them?!_

Patience, _someone whispered, and Emil jumped, looking around him. Who had said that? It obviously couldn't be human, since it talked to him. Was it another ghost?_

Patience, _the voice repeated, sounding amused,_ You'll see why you're here. _Emil got the sensation of being hugged, then the owner of the voice was gone._

 _Patience…_

 _Well. He had all the time in the world._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Mathias loved Lukas Bondevik. He was sure of it. Most people stayed away from the bipolar teen, but for Mathias, Lukas was the most calming part in his life, the eye in the storm that was his shit life. Considering that he lived in a family of drunks, Lukas was the most normal part of his life.

Of course, he could never say that out loud. For one, telling that to the normally frosty teen would probably scare him away. Hell, that would probably scare anyone away. That, and...if his parents found out, he'd probably be killed. They abhorred homosexuals, and their worthless son certainly wouldn't be an exception. For now, he was content with being the other's friend. That was more than enough for him.

Speaking of which...Lukas wasn't answering his phone. It wasn't like him to ignore a call. Mathias was getting a little worried. What if Lukas had switched from manic to depressive? His mood swings were very volatile, and anything could happen in his depressive state.

"Come on, come on…" He chanted nervously as he made his way to one of his only friend's house. Lukas answered on the third knock, eyebrows raised. "Yes?"

Relief welled up in Mathias, and he quickly gave Lukas a big hug. Lukas squirmed and gave a small sound of annoyance. "What the hell, Mathias?"

"Just...you didn't answer your phone. I got worried. Has your mood shifted?"

A sigh. "My phone's dead, idiot. I told you that before. It's not my fault that you don't listen. And I'm fine." There was a pause. "Thank you for worrying, though…"

Mathias grinned and hugged his friend tighter, earning himself a small groan of protest. "Of course I'd worry about you! I love you!"

... _Oh, shit._ "A-as a friend, of course! Nothing but a friend! I don't swing that way! No homo and all that!"

Lukas seemed to stiffen. Probably because of the "I love you" part. He hadn't meant to say it. Hopefully he'd covered up his tracks well enough.

...Well, this was going to get awkward. Time to retreat. "Well, uh, glad you're okay, Lukas! I actually have to go do something right now! Really important! So, uh, yeah! See ya!"

He left without seeing Lukas' reaction. _Well, at least he's okay..._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

He hadn't noticed.

 _Of course he didn't notice,_ Lukas thought dryly as he closed the door to his house and made his way upstairs. _I made sure of that._ Mathias was a lot of things, but perceptive wasn't one of them.

 _A-as a friend, of course! Nothing but a friend! I don't swing that way! No homo and all that!_

Lukas quietly went into his room and closed the door, sitting so that he blocked the door.

Only then did he let the depression take over and he allowed the tears to finally spill over.

He hadn't noticed, the idiot. He hadn't noticed how Lukas' voice shook slightly, how his knuckles were white as he gripped the door in an attempt to appear normal. He hadn't even noticed during the past few weeks when Lukas hid the papers he received back from school, when he skirted around the topic of class, when he didn't want to hang out as much anymore.

 _A-as a friend, of course! Nothing but a friend! I don't swing that way! No homo and all that!_

He couldn't. He couldn't do this any more.

Mathias didn't love him back. He never did. Lukas had been kidding himself the whole time.

What did he have to live for anymore…? Nobody would miss him. He would be forgotten quickly, a faceless name in a sea of the dead. There would be no more pain...no more heartbreak.

He began writing a letter.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

For Tino, the world was beautiful and bright. After so long, after so much waiting, Berwald and he were together. It had been about a month since they'd begun secretly going out, and he was still euphoric. He was with his crush-no, his _love_. Everything seemed sweeter, brighter.

He hummed a happy tune as he exited the supermarket, groceries in hand. Now, it seemed, nothing could go wrong.

He was halfway across the street when a loud blare of a truck caught his attention. The last thing he saw before everything went black was the origin of the horn barreling towards him.

... _Where…_

 _...Where was he?_

 _Why was it so quiet…?_

 _Tino opened his eyes to see...nothing but white. There were no walls, no structures, nothing._

 _Was this...was this heaven?_

 _Or was this hell?_

 _Was this going to be the rest of his existence…?_

 _A flash of colour caught his eye, and he turned to see a blonde boy around his age looking at him, face as perplexed as his._

" _Who…?" Tino began at the same time the other asked, "How…?"_

 _The blonde cut himself off and gave an embarrassed cough. "I'm sorry, you go first," He said, his voice thickly accented._

" _Ah…" Tino gave a nervous laugh. "I was just going to ask who you are…and if you know where we are…"_

 _The blonde fidgeted, then held out his hand. "I'm Ludwig. Ludwig Beilschmidt."_

 _Tino relaxed a bit. "Nice to meet you, Ludwig~ I'm Tino Väinämöinen!"_

 _They shook, and Ludwig continued. "As for where we are...I'm not too sure myself." He motioned to a direction. "I only recently found myself here. I was just walking around before, and...there's really nothing." He sighed. "How'd you get here? That might explain where we are."_

" _Uh…" Tino tried to remember. "I...got hit by a truck, I think."_

 _Ludwig's eyes widened. "Mein gott...I'm sorry."_

" _It happened." Tino gave a small, sad laugh, recalling his last moments before finding himself in the white place. "I'm...more worried about my boyfriend, to be honest. If I'm dead...I don't know how he'll cope."_

" _...I'm sorry to hear about that…" Ludwig started to say something else, but an echoing voice cut him off._

" _Tino…" The voice sounded choked, and the sound made Tino's chest seize up. Berwald…_

" _Tino, I miss you. I love you. I'm so sorry, I should have done something...I miss you so much…Please wake up..."_

" _So we're in a coma," Ludwig muttered, but Tino ignored him. His heart ached for his best friend._

" _Ber!" He shouted. "Ber, it's okay, please don't cry…" With a start, he realised that he was crying himself._

 _Ludwig sighed and put a hand on Tino's shoulder. "Tino...he can't hear you. If we're in a coma, then this is just in our heads…We can't do a thing..."_

 _Berwald continued to speak, voice full of anguish._

 _Ludwig stayed by Tino's side, supporting him. When Ludwig's boyfriend came to visit, Tino ended up taking over the same job, watching while Ludwig tried not to crumble under the agony of not being able to speak, to wake up._

 _Day in, day out. Days, months passed. They didn't wake up. Every visit by Berwald and Ludwig's boyfriend was both a joy and filled with pain._

 _And then they got the news: they weren't going to wake up. The doctors were going to have to pull the plug on them._

 _Neither of them shed any tears. They stood stoic, tried not to show weakness. There was no use in crying, in protesting, anyways. So that was it. The End._

 _They said goodbye to each other, and The End came quickly._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

 _Emil looked at the new ghost impassively. "Hello." He said._

 _The new ghost looked at him, bewildered. "What…?"_

" _I'm Emil Steilsson. I died a while ago. Burned down the house by accident. I was supposed to watch you for some reason." Emil made a face. "Did you two have to be so lovey-dovey?"_

" _I...what…?"_

 _Emil gave an exasperated sigh. Wasn't he supposed to be the younger of the two of them? "You're dead, Tino. I don't know why you're with me now, but it looks like we're stuck together until something happens." He began floating. "Come on. We can check up on your boyfriend." Internal cringe at the word._

 _A slightly shell-shocked Tino followed._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Berwald hadn't left his bedroom since Tino died. It was too painful to talk to people.

Now, he stared at a picture from a few months ago. Tino's happy face shone from even a still picture of him. He could nearly imagine that Tino was still alive…

He tried to keep in the tears. With a shaky sigh, he set the picture aside and got into bed, falling asleep immediately.

That night, he dreamed of Tino hugging him, comforting him, burying his face in the crook of Berwald's neck. He woke up with tears in his eyes, but happier than he'd been since Tino's death.

For the rest of the day, he felt like someone was watching over him, like a guardian angel.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Mathias,

I'm sorry. I can't do this any more. I'm just so tired of living. Please understand. Tell Mor and Far that this isn't their fault, it's mine. I know they'll be heartbroken, but they'll get over it quickly. It's not like they needed me much. I was just a bother, an inconvenience.

And Mathias...I couldn't say it before to you, but...I love you. I have for a while. Please don't hate me after I'm gone; I know that your family abhors monsters like me. I just...I'm glad that you were my friend, even though I was deceiving you. I wish things were different, that you loved me back, but that's never going to happen.

So...that's it. I'm jumping off of the Alakanava Bridge. I'm sorry. I love you. Goodbye.

Lukas Bondevik

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Unfortunately, the guardian angel was not enough. As much as Berwald tried to move on, tried to shake off his depression, it still stayed, a constant weight on his chest, a constant reminder that Tino was dead, dead, dead. Any bright part in his day was swamped by the grief he felt.

It was too much. All Berwald wanted to do was sleep forever, to finally be with Tino again.

And he could…

It was a cold night, with howling winds that stung the face and the hands. None of it could compare to the cold that was in Berwald's chest, though. His mind was set, and nothing could change it.

The winds picked up even more. For a second, Berwald could hear a voice-Tino's?-but it disappeared quickly. No matter. They'd be together soon.

It was cold, the lake.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

 _Tino sobbed as he hugged his boyfriend. "Berwald, why? What were you thinking?!"_

 _Berwald hugged him back fiercely, crying just as much. "I couldn't live without you. I couldn't…I love you…"_

" _God, Ber…"_

 _Lukas and Emil watched the scene quietly. Finally, Lukas spoke up. "So...where are we?"_

" _On Earth. I think we're waiting for your boyfriend."_

" _He's not my-" Lukas cut short, eyes widening. "No…"_

" _Considering that everyone I was watching died...yes."_

 _Lukas gave a shaky sigh, horror still in his eyes. "Mathias...you reckless idiot…"_

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

"Last night brought terrible tragedies for two small families. Lukas Bondevik and Berwald Oxenstierna, both age 16, committed suicide during the cold night. Lukas jumped off of the Alakanava Bridge around the same time that Berwald walked into-"

Mathias turned off the television. He stared at the blank screen for a second, then hurled the remote at a wall with a scream of rage.

How could he have been so blind?! How did he not see the signs?! How did he not know-how could he not have realised-

 _I love you. I have for a while._

Lukas had loved him, and he had never known.

 _I wish things were different, that you loved me back, but that's never going to happen._

Would it have changed had Mathias told him the truth? Would Lukas still be alive?

Mathias' nails dug into the palms of his hands until he drew blood.

His father came in, holding a piece of paper. His face was full of fury and disgust. "Mathias. What is this?"

Oh, no. Lukas' note.

"Did you know that he was a faggot?" Mathias' father's voice was deadly calm. It pissed Mathias off to no end, but he couldn't blow up.

"No, I didn't know…" _Don't you call him a faggot again, don't you dare call him a faggot again…_

His father sneered. "Well then, I suppose that it's a good thing that he offed himself. Sickening. I forbid you to go that that fag's funeral, got it? You are to forget about him. He never existed. At least he didn't turn you into a faggot as well." He turned to leave, lip still curled in disgust.

Mathias saw red. Before he knew what he was doing, he had grabbed his father by the shoulder, turned him around, and punched him square in the face. His father staggered back, surprise clear on his face.

"Shut the fuck up about Lukas!" Mathias screamed. "Just shut the fuck up! Lukas was my friend and an amazing person! Don't you fucking dare call him a faggot, you sick son of a bitch!" He began to race out the door. "I'm getting out of here. Don't try to fucking stop me." He paused for a second, the door open. "And guess what? I'm a faggot, too, and I loved Lukas." The door slammed shut and Mathias got into the car parked outside, leaving the house where he knew he would no longer be welcome.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

" _Oh, no…" Tino whispered as the group watched Mathias rummage around in the car until he found a bottle of vodka. He uncapped it and began taking huge swills._

 _Berwald took his boyfriend's ghostly hand in his and gently squeezed it. "He's bein' reckless...Don't know wh't he's thinkin'..."_

 _Emil sighed. "He's not."_

 _Lukas stayed silent._

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

Mathias cursed, and the car swerved. The vodka finally seemed to be working. He could feel the liquid fire coursing through his veins now. It didn't change his heart, though; it felt as cold as ice, a harsh cold that burned those who touched it.

He was driving near a cliff when the blare caught his attention. A car's headlights shone in front of him, getting brighter with each second. With another muffled curse, he realised that he had started to drive on the wrong side of the road, and now he had no place to go.

He could do two things, and he had to choose quickly; hit the car head on and possibly die along with the other driver, or turn off the cliff and definitely die.

He chose the second option.

 **~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~~APH~**

The first thing Mathias saw when he woke up was Lukas, looking down at him with an unreadable expression. It took a second to sink in, but then he was up and gripping Lukas' shoulders.

"What...Lukas…? But...you're dead…"

"So are you, idiot," Lukas told him, and Mathias finally saw the grief hidden in his eyes.

It all came back to him. "...Oh…"

Lukas hesitated, then gave Mathias a tight hug, burying his face into the taller boy's chest. "...Dumbass…" he said, voice mumbled. "Did you really mean what you said to your father…?"

He didn't hesitate this time. "Yes."

If anything, Lukas gripped him even tighter.

A strange wind blew around the five ghosts. It seemed to sigh in relief, a bittersweet happiness. Without a word, they knew that it was over, that it was done. Time to move on.

They turned and followed the light.


End file.
